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Poster: kochman Date: Jan 23, 2009 11:38am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Who has the worst show reviews here at the LMA?
Link us to them so we can all have a good Friday afternoon laugh...
I know I have seen a couple that just made me laugh. Of course, now you might be tempted to see my show reviews, but I don't think I have reviewed any shows here.

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Poster: Administrator, Curator, or StaffNoiseCollector Date: Jan 23, 2009 1:44pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers on archive?

Well not LMA reviews, these archive reviewers are what constructive criticism is all about:

Reviewer: Quimby the Talentless Mouse - - June 17, 2007
Subject: The more things change...
Still sucks. Always did. Always will. Perhaps because it features the star of a "retarded baby" film "classic." Dolts.


This person added a space to their login so if you click them it brings up the real users reviews as well, clever.

Remember this guy?
http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%225t0n3d%22

Aside from reviewing his own stuff he left these gems for me:

Reviewer: 5t0n3d - - April 11, 2008
Subject: ?
hip-hop/rapping = homosexuality

Reviewer: 5t0n3d - - June 16, 2007
Subject: stop "rapping"
lol

And then there is this guy:

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22Iadydie%22

Imitating the singer's girlfriend with the I for L switch trick. The TITO BE PRAISED comments might be a clue as to who they are... herebutnotanymore?

This one:

Reviewer: bbf8hj3049fjei2203920394828ffffffffffffffffff3333333333 - - August 13, 2007
Subject: Lord skee's balls
I don't know how old you are, but musically you come across as a perenially macho 15-year-old. How else to explain the lack of depth in the music you write, and yet you show admiration for the phrase "Skee ball lords"... (which you misspelled, by the way; a recurring fact throughout your work which doesn't help your cause). Mr. Thinkshecanrap is an anchor on your ability to write music which can soar and affect trancendental goop. Like so many fans of rap, he's confusing anger and rancor with depth. In his eyes, a pissed off artist is, by definition, a good artist. But the
state of being pissed off (pissed-offedness) is just one small facet of the human experience. By sneering at every other facet, you're showing an extremely limited view of life. Skee ball is trite and meaningless to almost all humans. Remix again, this time eliminate vocals, and set music at -30 db. Now shape up and rock on , sister!

A rabid antifan on a mission:

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22QuimbytheMouse%22

Another studio veteran expert musician that somehow never managed to upload one song in their life:

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22Mr.%20Talent%22

One hit wonders that magically have no other reviews, forum posts or items on here...

Reviewer: (((((((((((((())))))))))))) - - January 19, 2007
Subject: Wow!
Mommy, make it stop!. Terrible, boring, stupid. Other than that, pretty good.

Reviewer: cleanpaintfix - - September 4, 2007
Subject: good for deaf coworkas...
bad for da rest o us. dissmal.

Reviewer: Telephone Dipshit - - January 23, 2007
Subject: genius
This music is no good.

This guy did two reviews, both of our work of course only to never do anything else ever...

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22ceramicpenis%22

And then there are the people who actually think critisizing terrorism in reviews or making songs about it is wrong:

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22Quimby%20the%20Telephone%20Mouse%22

We all know who this guy was, his other login ryhmed with "sister poophead".

Reviewer: Jihadi12 - - March 21, 2007
Subject: this is so much hate I can't believe it!
there's a rumour this material has been posted by a psycho who was raped by a muslim!

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22Star1430%22

This guy tried to leave a civil but somewhat wordy story but if you read his other posts about killing jews it's hard to take him seriously.

This guy thinks I am a mighty jew?

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22ShawnLarsen%22

Read his other posts too... nice guy.

Reviewer: engineer_hell_man_3 - - March 21, 2007
Subject: مجانين
انتم مجانين

انتم مغرورين

ur so mad mad

Reviewer: theshowpodcast.com - - April 1, 2007
Subject: infowars.com
http://www.theshowpodcast.com

spammers spamming a spammer, sweet

I guess it's better than no reviews at all, right?


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Poster: Administrator, Curator, or Staff5t0n3d Date: Mar 4, 2009 3:52pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers on archive?

lol youre so gay.

"This guy did two reviews, both of our work of course only to never do anything else ever" -NOISECOLLECTOR-

look atcha. do you feel better now?


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Poster: William Tell Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:18pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Yep; you have to go with Jboy; if you search on that name a thread here should pop up with all of us quoting his most memorable ones...and there is something memorable about almost each and everyone!

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Poster: lobster12 Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:34pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Jboy is to this site what Wolfman jack was to dance fever

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Poster: Styrofoam Cueball Date: Jan 23, 2009 11:49am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Yeah, look at jboy's reviews on this list of shows:

http://www.archive.org/search.php?query=reviewer:%22jboyaquar%22

He is truly in his own league...

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Poster: kochman Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:15pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

I like that he refers to Let It Grow as "Let"

http://www.archive.org/details/gd87-11-06.sbd.miller.11656.sbeok.shnf

rather than LIG... never seen the "Let" usage before. Apparently during this review he gave himself license to oddly shorten all song names in the second set... "Dew" became "Morning" for example...

I like the comment that he seems like a Phish fan.

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:34pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

How can you not like this?

"Jerry's aspirations wisely seperate himself from the band's generic stroll"

Well, I guess to be honest I've also thrown up my share of oddities.

This post was modified by SomeDarkHollow on 2009-01-23 20:34:03

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Poster: Styrofoam Cueball Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:40pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

This jboy quote from a DSO show is still boggling my mind:

"The pace is quite measured but it reflects the trepidation I feel when approaching anybody here whose view of me is as unpredictable as the slant of their eyes. (How Spanish basketball team of me!)"

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Poster: johnnyonthespot Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:56pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

perfect example of why no one should ever ever defend this guy ( sorry wineland ). Dude only reviews 87-90, and every review pretty much says the band is boring to mediocre BUT somehow appently DSO is the real deal! He gives better reviews to a cover band. I don't think this guy actually even saw a show.

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Poster: kochman Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:20pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

double post... sorry

This post was modified by kochman on 2009-01-23 20:20:29

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Poster: johnnyonthespot Date: Jan 23, 2009 11:42am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

why it's chef Jboyardee of course.

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Jan 23, 2009 11:57am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

I think he used to do write-ups for the J Peterman Catalog.

This looks like his work:
"Balinese Mandarin Collar Tee" Ocean Pearl. Bali. Balmy beaches. Velvet green valleys, fragrant temples. Have you noticed that the open, friendly people of Bali always seem to be celebrating? Cause for you to celebrate: This wonderfully versatile tee based on a traditional Balinese design. (Their arms, bare. Ours, long sleeved for less temperate climates.)

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Poster: jglynn1.2 Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:00pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Cool, which show is that review for?

;)

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Poster: wineland Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:10pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Why the Alaska shows of course.

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Poster: lobster12 Date: Jan 23, 2009 12:15pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

I just fell out of my chair. "Chef Jboyardee" Priceless.

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Poster: wineland Date: Jan 23, 2009 11:49am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Funny. He was the first one that came to my mind too. Although I did somewhat defend him a few years ago. He writes reviews like Phish phans.

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Poster: Bassy Twang Date: Jan 23, 2009 11:59am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

The LMA acording to Cliff was smi2les... streaming over dialup 2004, but I agree jboy was just toostoned.

Attachment: deadphish.jpg

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Poster: AshesRising Date: Jan 23, 2009 3:17pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Hey "kochman:"
Living in my own glass house, I cannot possibly throw any stones regarding this topic. I remember when I first found this site and wrote a review for the Cape Cod Coliseum (Oct. '79) show {esp. the "Dancin' > Franklin's Tower" classic] as well as the Lake Placid '83 show.

I don't believe in re-writing history or deleting my posts so I think I left them out there. It helps in my attempts to attain some level of humility. I quickly learned, however, to stop reviewing shows, especially when the chemicals are streaming through the bloodstream.

Enjoy the afternoon,
--- AshesRising

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Poster: kochman Date: Jan 24, 2009 7:25am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Worst of the reviewers at the LMA?

Ha, that's cool man. The majority of my reviews are written while inebriated (just at my site, not here). Sometimes I go back and read them, since I can't always remember finishing them, and think... I must have been drooling on the keypad at this point...